After fifty years of marriage, the hate was still obvious.  The hurt was written all over her face.

Author: Rhonda Gutierrez
Image: Paula Anderanin

I met an elderly lady the other day that really made me think.  Not only did she make me think, but she broke my heart.  As she, a complete stranger, sat there and told me the story of her life,…I froze.  Her story took me back to a time when women were seen and not heard. The disappointment of a  life wasted was completely apparent.  Her husband cheated, controlled and disrespected her and her daughters while she quietly went about her life.  After fifty years of marriage, the hate was still obvious.  The hurt was written all over her face.

“What has changed since all those years ago?” I thought to myself.  Back then, women were married for life—through thick and thin.  I remember my grandmother saying to me, “If he doesn’t beat you, provides a good living, puts a roof over your head and goes to work everyday,  you should overlook the rest.  Men will be men.”  This type of mentality just doesn’t fly today.  Women refuse to be cheated on and quickly divorce after the first sign of adultery.  What has changed?  Was it the women’s rights movement or modern thoughts of independence?

Personally, I think it was a little of both.  Years ago, women depended on men completely for financial support and social acceptance.  Single mothers were frowned upon and divorced women need not enter the church.  Women were almost forced to remain in unhappy marriages and men knew this.  Many of them took advantage of the fact that their wives had nowhere to go and they could control their every move.

We ask why the divorce rate has increased during recent years and my only answer is that we, as women, refuse to stay married unless we are treated well and respected.  ¡Que vivan las mujeres!

“Relationships, marriages are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow and the other person stands still. ” Catherine Pulsifer