My fiance and I (both Catholic) decided to get married at a church in Detroit. The process started with our recent one-on-one meeting with the priest who will marry us, which went well. We chatted, filled out some forms, talked about our ceremony and then,……he said it. We had to take a pre-marriage class before he could marry us.

Now, I have heard many stories about the dreaded wedding classes from friends and family who sat through them: couples who had to meet with their priest a bunch of times, the overnight retreats and long weekends occupied with the pre-wedding classes. These are the ones where they preach about natural methods for birth control, discuss sexually transmitted diseases and talk about Catholic doctrine all day. When our priest handed us a brochure full of options for scheduling our classes, we quickly chose the one that lasted one day for five hours. You go in, you get out and you’re done!

We drove to a nearby church. I was thinking there would only be a few other couples. Boy was I wrong! There were about 50 other couples. Everyone had the same look on their faces. It was the look of “Oh my God! What am I doing here?! Make this go by fast!”

The class began, as one of the teachers walked in. He looked just like Tim Gunn from Project Runway. I was waiting for him to say, “Make it work,” which unfortunately he never did. However, he did come out telling jokes, which I must say did help lighten the mood. He was under no false pretenses that people wanted to be there. He started the actual class by discussing the top three causes for divorce: money, infidelity and in-laws. Throughout the day, these three topics continued to come up along with the very important conversation of being able to communicate well with your partner.

Half way through the class, we were separated from our partners and had to take a 10 question quiz about: our thoughts on each other, life after marriage, how we plan to include the church in our relationship and communication styles. Before taking the quiz, the teacher told us a story about how a couple once stormed out and ended their engagement, after revealing their answers to each other. I was anxious to see if, after four years of dating my fiance, we really knew each other or not.

Upon taking the quiz, we reunited with our partners and spent 20 minutes revealing our answers. Lucky for us, there was no storming out of the room or even arguing. We were pretty much on the same page for everything. We did not learn anything groundbreaking about each other. If you haven’t discussed serious topics by this stage, then I think that you are in trouble.

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised. I actually enjoyed the class. They never brought up birth control or tried to shove doctrine down our throats. We did get a folder that contained information to review at our leisure. The class made us stop and think about the upcoming relationship as husband and wife. It made us stop and think about serious subjects, even though we’re in the craziness of planning a wedding.

More than anything, the class really helped put things in perspective. In the end, no one cares what your wedding cake looks like or the color of the bridesmaid dresses. What matters most is having a loving relationship with someone who respects and cares for you. I am happy that we had the opportunity to attend this class, even though the priest made us do it.

Wedding Tip: If you have to take a pre-marriage class, take it seriously. There is a lot to be learned from one of these classes. You never know what you might find out.

Author: Gabriella Muñoz