For both my personal and professional lives, I use social networking (i.e Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc) quite a bit.  During the course of my day, I’ll sign into my accounts to stay on top of my network, update my status or share important information.  One of the things that I also do is to address connection requests. Here’s where things get interesting.

I notice this, especially on Facebook.  Some of the requests and I share common acquaintances and there’s a reason to connect.  In this case, it makes good sense to establish a relationship.  However, there are many others that raise red flags.  These are people that are friends with a number of my acquaintances (so many that I wonder if they actually have relationships with them, want to have a huge number of friends or if they want to show off how many well-known people that are “friends.”)  When I get requests that didn’t go to any of my schools, don’t share common acquaintances or are not members of groups that I’m a part of, then it’s an automatic “ignore.”  I have enough respect for the people that I’m connected to that I don’t want strange people in my network.  Also, there are things that I’d like to do and I want the people there that can help me out and vice versa.  None of this can happen if I’m not careful.

One of the things that has tremendously influenced my philosophy on networking is Keith Ferrazzi’s book Never Eat Alone. If you haven’t read it, then you really need to do so.  One of the things that he talks about is that when you’re “networking” that you need to emphasize building relationships over just passing out your business card.  You can even extend this to social networking.  You ideally have a two-sided interaction. What can you do for them? What can they do for you? If you can’t answer this question, then you might want to question why you’re connected.

Maybe I’m off here but here’s what I do.  As a courtesy, when I want to connect with somebody that I don’t really know, I’ll send them a personal message explaining who I am and my purpose.  I especially do this if an acquaintance is trying to connect me with somebody.  I’m figuring that this person is wondering, “Who is this guy and what does he want?” I want the initial personal message to start to answer this question.  I give them the courtesy that I expect.  If somebody can’t answer that question, then I’m not going to connect.

With all of this emphasis on social networking, I think that with the rush to connect, we forget about the reasons why.  If you wouldn’t walk up to someone in “real life” present your card and walk away, why would you on the Internet?

Author: José A. Rodríguez