I have been taking some time dealing with some life changes. Many new and wonderful things have happened to me that required time to adapt. For one, I began a new job and made the decision to live a fulfilled, happy life. However, despite all of this joy, finding contentment in romantic relationships or finding “The One” still eludes me. I’ve realized that perhaps I’m not meant to find a partner or love. However, for the first time, I might be comfortable with this Enter: desired happiness and fulfillment.

The last time you heard from me, I was pining over my physical therapist. Since my last column, I learned that he is not only dating a woman, but engaged to her. Getting over Doc was easy because I hadn’t invested too much in him. Every once in awhile, I do wonder what could have been. Oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be.

My recent failures in the love department have prompted me to spend the last few months analyzing every past relationship. Yes, the list is very long-lol! Such introspection demands asking the dreaded question, “What went wrong?” By asking this, I am opening Pandora’s box. I’ve realized that by pondering what went wrong, I am somewhat admitting that I may have played a role in the demise of my relationships.

The more deeply I’ve dug into my past, the quicker I’ve realized that there was a person—the “one that got away” and holding me back from achieving romantic bliss. Why? For me, this man is as close to perfection as anyone. He’s tall, handsome, educated, friendly and family-oriented. He was there for me whenever I needed him. Yet because of past hurts, I was unable to fully appreciate him. Truthfully fear interfered and, much to my chagrin, I let him go. Although years have passed, this man has continued to literally haunt my thoughts and dreams.

A sign from above gave me a sudden moment of both disparity and clarity or so I thought. It was then that I discovered that I love him. Almost desperately. Something inside motivated me to reach out to him. Of course, because of recent technological advances, I didn’t have to talk to him in person, per se, which I realize now was a not-so-good move. So, I did what any hip, technologically savvy woman my age would do. I made a declaration of my love via Facebook, not in the form of a poke or status update but via message. Sounds a little tacky, right? At the time, it seemed like the right thing. Now, I can’t say that I had positive results. Sadly, he didn’t respond. However, for the first time in my life, I did something that was so out of character. I made the first move. I told someone about my feelings, with the risk of being rejected. To most people, this would be a huge setback, but not for me. For the first time, I finally understood how I’ve spent most of my adult life pushing men away.

I don’t know that I’ll ever make another Facebook confession in my life. The first one was pretty scary and well, didn’t have a high ROI. Oh well, here’s to finding true love and happiness. Wish me luck.

Author: E.J Leon

Now that we have dating sites like eharmony.com, adultfriendfinder.com or chemistry.com, there’s less need to go out to the bar and waste time and money looking for somebody.  Fill out a questionnaire and you too can find true love.  You could also open up a Facebook or Myspace account, set your relationship status to “single and looking” and you can do the “finger work” yourself.  This way you can see pictures before you can decide to talk to someone, chat before meeting and, if you really want to know what you’re getting into, monitor their page for potential competition.

Another important tool the Internet has given daters is the background check.  One can simply “stalk” someone’s page(s).  However, it’s not like someone is monitoring everybody to see if they’re telling the truth about what’s on their profile. Simply Google their name and, for a small fee, you can get everything from their real date of birth to their last speeding ticket.  The only limit is that of your credit card.

Cybersex is so 10 years ago.  If you’re not “sexting,” you’re not getting any.  Now, more than ever, it’s easier to get anything, especially sex.  With countless porn sites to view, high speed instant messaging or the good, old-fashioned drive to your shorty’s house, you’ll never go, ahem, “hungry” again.  Even getting an escort is a quick click away.

So, I think that you should all take the time to give your PCs a good finger stroke making dating so fast, easy and good.  Internet, we salute you.

Author: Crissy Zamarron

A typical date usually consisted of dinner and a movie.  My dates were required to come to the door, meet my parents and ask what time I should return home. Oh…and I can’t forget that I had to take one of my sisters along. If one of my sisters wasn’t available, a double date with a family friend was the other option. I’m sure that a few dates grew a little sick of hanging around my friends and siblings. However, if they wanted to date me, those were the rules.  Did I mention that I had to be home by 10 pm—even on weekends?

My father told me funny stories of his dating days back in the ’60s.  Mexican fathers and families required chaperons on all dates. Maybe that’s why he insisted that my sisters chaperon my dates…hmmm? He was dating or “courting” a Mexican girl from the old neighborhood in Detroit.  The parents escorted her to the house and sat with them in the living room for the entire date.  She actually sat across the room from my father.  What kind of date is that? I don’t understand how they were supposed to get to know one another in that atmosphere? Dating was merely preparation for marriage. However, you have to remember that love was not required to be married back then.  A good girl from a good family usually married into another good, well-known family. It’s just the way that things were done. Needless to say, my dad didn’t end up marrying a Mexican girl.  As he put it, he was a little too impatient for all that nonsense.

I have to admit that I do not in the least miss dating.  I hated dating.  It was uncomfortable and nerve-wracking.  What to wear? What to say? Oh no…what if he tries to kiss me? Would my dad say something to embarrass me? I’m so glad that I’m out of the dating scene.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like today.

Author: Rhonda Gutierrez

I’m wondering why women are not appreciated for being straightforward or for asking someone to join us for coffee or drinks at the newest Detroit hotspot.  I am daring, bold and courageous and wish to get what I want in life.  I do this with things such as career, so what stops me from doing this with love?

My single male friends insist that asking a man out is forbidden.  Men, they say, like for the ball to be in their court or to close the deal.  Analogies aside, why can’t a woman ask a man out on a date? Why is this so taboo? Movies like He’s Just Not That Into To You back up what my guy friends tell me, which is that men do not want to be asked out.  They want to be in control.  After all, men were the hunters, while women were the gatherers.  I continue to ask myself, “What does that really mean?”

Take my situation for example. I am pretty attracted to my physical therapist. He’s cute, smart and we have great chemistry.  Every time after our session ends, he asks about my plans for the night.  Once already, I’ve asked him to join my friend and I for a bite to eat. He thought it over, but ultimately turned me down.  Now, I’d like to think that he is too ethical (which is not altogether a bad thing) to go out with me.  After all, aren’t there regulations that govern doctor-patient relationships? Certainly physical therapists must follow something similar.  Lastly, I am increasingly perplexed by his mixed signals.  If he’s not attracted to me, then why does he have such an interest in my personal life? Why the great chemistry?

My female friends have come up with a ton of reasons why he turned down my invitation. “He’s intimated by you,” said my friend Lizette-the kind of friend who always says that I’m fabulous no matter the circumstances.  My friend Angie (the realist) suggested that he might be gay.  Now, I’m not sure how I feel about this explanation.  I’d rather have him be straight and not be into me than have him be gay.  Disclaimer: There’s nothing wrong with being gay, but let’s face it.  The gay community has their share of fine men. Can’t we be allowed to have a piece of tasty man candy? The person that made the most sense was what my optimistic, eternally romantic friend, Katy, told me.  Maybe what he wanted was to have dinner with me alone.  The last reason is to me the most improbable scenario, though it sure does make me feel better.

It’s been more than a week, since I’ve seen my physical therapist.  I’ve been too busy being fabulous to drop in for my regular session.  According to some of my confidants, this is a good thing.  He will soon realize that I’m interesting and popular, and he’ll want to get on that money train fast.  Who knows? We’ll see what happens next.

Author: EJ Leon